swept away by a flash flood

Hi, I’m here.

I called you up a few minutes ago and told you the reason why I was missing. Again, I’m sorry. This whole thing was starting to have a life of its own and it’s beyond my control.

It was tempting to say that I don’t have cell phone load that’s why I wasn’t able to contact you. Or my phone broke down or it was stolen. Probably, I can also say that I was kidnapped by aliens and was taken to their ship for a few days. I can say anything just to give you an excuse but I know you can see through those lies. You’re way too smart for that and obviously, you deserve the truth.

But I wasn’t prepared to tell you the truth, yet. Until now. And for you to be able to at least understand what I went through, I think it was just right to tell you the consequences of what happened the last time we met. Yeah, the kiss.

I waited for you at your office building that night because I wanted to take you out for dinner and talk. Nothing serious, just talk. As I drive along, I was already dreading the time that we will part ways later that night. So I drive. And drive. Drive to the farthest reasonable place we can eat. I was thinking that the longest I delayed the inevitable, the longer time I get to spend with you.

That is why we reached that place just outside the city, up in the mountains. It was a place we used to frequent before, during those times that we just want to spend time with just the two of us. We used to kiss a lot in there too. Ahhh, your kiss. What I would give just to feel those lips against mine again.

Before I knew it, I leaned into you, closer. You asked me “why?”

I heard a voice say “I love you…” and I knew it came out of my heart. Everything feels so natural. We got swept by these things happening between us and we just went with the flow. I kissed you, you kissed back. It was an all-too-familiar kiss yet it feels like the first time.

We were hugging inside the car but I feel I was outside, looking in. It wasn’t me anymore. The “Adrian” you were kissing was someone who was already consumed by his emotions and passion. I saw us passionately kissing as if we were making up for the lost time we had apart. I saw my hand caress your thigh, your hand in my neck pulling me closer. It was a deep, long kiss and I saw my hand slowly going deeper inside your office skirt. My heart was pounding like crazy as my hand gets closer and closer to that very spot I hunger for. Moments later, I knew that you were waiting for me there too, as I felt the flash flood that caught me by surprise.

It was then that I saw you reached for your cellphone and deftly turned it off. I knew it was a call you didn’t want to take. I knew it was him. I also knew that we should stop. But how can one stop a kiss like that. Moments later, you broke the kiss.

“I need to go home,” you said, “we should go…”

Hours later alone in my bed, I was questioning myself. What am I doing? What do I expect to happen? You were getting married, why am I subjecting you to something like this? I felt so selfish. I knew I was taking you down a road you didn’t want to take, but seems helpless to resist.

It was supposed to be just dinner. And I have time because my girlfriend had to cancel because of her work.

Yeah, that’s what I told you minutes ago when I called you up. I disappeared for a few days because I got scared of the things that is and might happen. It wasn’t also fair to you because I felt I lied to you. You didn’t asked if I am seeing someone, but I didn’t disclosed it also. I knew you were getting married because of that ring and there’s no way for you to know that I have a girlfriend unless I tell you.

I got scared and i have a girlfriend. I don't know if it makes sense but everything is so confusing.

And again, I’m sorry.