Uncertainty

Will this second chance end like the first one? Like a fast-moving silent bullet train that ended a blind and deaf man’s life on the railroad truck, leaving him asking God “what happened?”

It’s been weeks since we last communicated. Who made the last contact? Did you left a message I wasn’t able to return? Or did I?

Amidst all these, what I’m certain is how much I misses you, even though I don’t want to admit it, even though I know I wasn’t suppose to feel that way, even though in my mind, ending it like this is probably the right thing to do anyway. But since when did I followed my head? How many times have my heart lead me to painful and uncertain paths. I miss you. I long for your kiss. I long for your presence. I long for your embrace even though I am in the arms of another girl that I also knew in my heart that I love.

“Love?” What do I know about love anyway? What do the world knows about love?

I guess this is the right time to end this thing before it really starts.

Time to say goodbye.

In a few days, I’ll be going out of town. I’ve already told my girlfriend that I’ll be gone for a few days for a company seminar.

A few minutes ago, I was fiddling with my cellphone. I sent you a text message, asking you if I may call. You answered yes. You probably sensed the hesitation in my voice, like there’s a big lump stuck inside somewhere.

“Hi,” I said, “want to go with me to Palawan for a few days next weekend?”